[ It’s about five in the morning when this message comes through. Hope your notifications are off. ]
Good morning, John. I trust that you slept well and are preparing for your day of work ahead. I hope you and your feathered companion are getting along well.
I admit this is not purely a friendly “Hello”. I had hoped you might assist me with a small matter. I have something to give to Dirk Strider, yet I need to do this in person.
I have unfortunately earned his ire, so I fear I won’t be able to ascertain this from him.
[They aren't because....old habits. What if someone needs to contact him at any time! So he drifts awake, and squints blearily at his PokeGear. He guesses....he's up at 5 some days! Not today, though. Not an opening shift. He doesn't want to make Hythlodaeus feel bad or anything, though...]
we are getting along a lot better now thanks to you!
it's hard to know with dirk, sort of. i mean, he keeps saying he has a job but there's no way he can hassle me literally whenever i am working if he's also doing something.
i guess you could just sort of hang around the goldenrod department store until he randomly shows up during my shift to bug me because that is basically the only thing i know for sure about him here.
oh my god that WOULD make sense! it is way too complicated to get into it now but i bet he is selling weird stuffed toys. i don't know why he wouldn't just tell me, he has got to know i know.
[Unavoidable, then, he guesses Hythlodaeus is just gonna have to find out he's woken John up.]
i see him basically every day i work, which means i saw him yesterday. i don't really have a super regular schedule but i am working today from noon to 7:30.
There are plenty of men who prefer to keep their professional and personal lives separate. Perhaps he is concerned that you would quickly become enamored with his handicraft. I can be difficult to face one's own adoring public.
[It'd be awkward if he cared about that sort of thing. He's used to being pretty important and requiring others move onto his schedule to deal with him.]
Lucky you, an opportunity to see both sunrise and sunset. The mark of a fastidious worker.
[But this bit about his habit is fascinating. He wonders what the the saturation point might be before Dirk changes his habits.]
no, i am pretty sure i can control myself around butt puppets.
[Is that...passive aggression? Or sarcasm or something? John peers suspiciously at it a bit before deciding to shift right over it to Hythlodaeus' next comment.]
i am almost one hundred percent confident that dirk doesn't see me as a friend. i think he probably listens to his friends...or at least would humor their side even a little.
it's not for hanging out pal time, it is for lectures. honestly i am kind of hoping you'll distract him from it with whatever this drama is you have with him?
it is the only thing i know for certain one of him has sold before and also probably the only thing he could get supplies for here? i probably shouldn't have even mentioned it, you're fighting him right now or something.
[Thinking about that means he probably shouldn't explain that Dirk expects stuff of him due to playing the same stupid video game rather than any sort of care outside of that. John tries, honestly, he's tossed out a ton of olive branches and Dirk only wants this one thing John is too tired to go through with. It sucks.
Anyway, it's gonna be great for Dirk to get a taste of his own medicine. Whether Dirk listens to Hythlodaeus or leaves immediately, either way John's down a lecture for that day.]
haha good luck, i guess? you seem pretty confident.
[Which this really brings him back to what he was wondering about.]
Is that so? You say this as if it is rather pedestrian, you know.
So... Your God, who was your friend's older brother in an alternate universe... Comes by to lecture you nearly every day. Tell me, what does he lecture you about? Who are you, then?
Well, as I understood it from his own mouth... Just that. The writer of your story, the mover of the pieces. I saw his soul, so I am inclined to believe him.
honestly, that is a good question. i thought he was already treating me as part of his plans? what with the way he shows up every day to tell me how important his plans are?
i guess he might be more practical than i thought. that is actually so weird.
anyway, kind of? i am not sure if you are talking about dirk's exact situation because i don't know what he has and hasn't told you. but when i was 13 a meteor did destroy basically everyone on earth except me and my friends. so i guess technically at what i think is the religious people adult age, there were only a few humans left and i was one of them?
[Well. That component about the meteor is... low key terrifying and high key interesting. But he doesn't think he's going to get anything coherent out of John about that, at least not right now.]
You're resisting him, then. I can understand the appeal, of course. But...
i guess this is all kind of tmi seeing as we basically just met but i only want to be a normal person with a job. if dirk actually has some stuff for me to do that is relevant to saving our universe, he can tell me about that, but i'm not going to do a bunch of pokemon master adventure stuff just because i am also a god.
i kind of do? the issue is that the whole thing is super complicated and i barely understand it. if whatever your dirk plan is works then you should ask him.
but i think the basic idea is that i am the only other person here other than dirk who is maybe "Relevant" with a capital r. or maybe i'm more True? fuck.
a friend explained all this to me once but it has been possibly literally an eternity since then so i'm kind of rusty. but i think i hold relevance to the canon of the world i come from even dead, somehow? or dirk thinks i do, i mean. i don't think he has any proof because he'd probably shove it in my face if he did but he wants me to be a hero here to sort of maintain my hero/main character status and through that, my overall Relevance.
there's something about essentiality as well????????
i am not an expert on this stuff. dirk and my friend both went "ultimate", which gave them all this knowledge and they were already really smart so they understand what's going on. i'm just a dude who played a game and got superpowers, really.
ok, i know what you're about to say. "If you're not an expert, how can you possibly know doing what Dirk says wouldn't help?" i don't, but he doesn't either. if he finds something to convince me that i am somehow going to be relevant to canon again as myself and not a dead body, i'll listen to him. but he hasn't found that yet.
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Text, 9/25
Good morning, John. I trust that you slept well and are preparing for your day of work ahead. I hope you and your feathered companion are getting along well.
I admit this is not purely a friendly “Hello”. I had hoped you might assist me with a small matter. I have something to give to Dirk Strider, yet I need to do this in person.
I have unfortunately earned his ire, so I fear I won’t be able to ascertain this from him.
Might you know where or when he ventures out?
no subject
we are getting along a lot better now thanks to you!
it's hard to know with dirk, sort of. i mean, he keeps saying he has a job but there's no way he can hassle me literally whenever i am working if he's also doing something.
i guess you could just sort of hang around the goldenrod department store until he randomly shows up during my shift to bug me because that is basically the only thing i know for sure about him here.
no subject
He may have the sort of job that I do. Perhaps he simply makes and sells his wares from home, working on his own time.
Yet that is quite the useful bit of information... How long has it been since you’ve seen him?
...And when might your shifts be?
no subject
[Unavoidable, then, he guesses Hythlodaeus is just gonna have to find out he's woken John up.]
i see him basically every day i work, which means i saw him yesterday. i don't really have a super regular schedule but i am working today from noon to 7:30.
no subject
[It'd be awkward if he cared about that sort of thing. He's used to being pretty important and requiring others move onto his schedule to deal with him.]
Lucky you, an opportunity to see both sunrise and sunset. The mark of a fastidious worker.
[But this bit about his habit is fascinating. He wonders what the the saturation point might be before Dirk changes his habits.]
Surely you are very close friends, then.
no subject
no, i am pretty sure i can control myself around butt puppets.
[Is that...passive aggression? Or sarcasm or something? John peers suspiciously at it a bit before deciding to shift right over it to Hythlodaeus' next comment.]
i am almost one hundred percent confident that dirk doesn't see me as a friend. i think he probably listens to his friends...or at least would humor their side even a little.
it's not for hanging out pal time, it is for lectures. honestly i am kind of hoping you'll distract him from it with whatever this drama is you have with him?
no subject
[He knows it isn't, but he wants to hear what his impression of Dirk is.]
Surely he lectures only because he cares. Otherwise, why else would he do this so often?
[ It's what he would do, too, if he thought he should. If he had any friends he should lecture, which he does.]
[... But on the note of lectures into drama.]
As much as he may lecture you, he has little patience for my own. It is all well, it will be repaired in due time.
no subject
i probably shouldn't have even mentioned it, you're fighting him right now or something.
[Thinking about that means he probably shouldn't explain that Dirk expects stuff of him due to playing the same stupid video game rather than any sort of care outside of that. John tries, honestly, he's tossed out a ton of olive branches and Dirk only wants this one thing John is too tired to go through with. It sucks.
Anyway, it's gonna be great for Dirk to get a taste of his own medicine. Whether Dirk listens to Hythlodaeus or leaves immediately, either way John's down a lecture for that day.]
haha good luck, i guess? you seem pretty confident.
no subject
Ah, but I strive to understand him a bit better each day. And in the spirit of my goal, I would very much like you to expand upon "one of him".
[Absolutely goddamn fascinating. He could think of some meanings for that, but it wouldn't do to get so far ahead that he became lost in thought.
no subject
oh, i just mean when he was my friend's older brother in an alternate universe. my life was really stupid for a while.
no subject
Is that so? You say this as if it is rather pedestrian, you know.
So... Your God, who was your friend's older brother in an alternate universe... Comes by to lecture you nearly every day. Tell me, what does he lecture you about? Who are you, then?
no subject
no subject
What does Dirk lecture you about?
no subject
no, i mean the part about "Your God", what's that supposed to mean?
no subject
Is there some... falsehood spun here?
no subject
ok, this is a lot. wow. i guess dirk is really big on his plans and master minding stuff. is that what you mean, he was talking about that?
i'm guessing you're being pretty literal about the soul thing, though. we are actually both gods because of the same dumb reason, so he is not MY god.
no subject
Did you also reach adulthood as the last of your species?
no subject
i guess he might be more practical than i thought. that is actually so weird.
anyway, kind of? i am not sure if you are talking about dirk's exact situation because i don't know what he has and hasn't told you. but when i was 13 a meteor did destroy basically everyone on earth except me and my friends. so i guess technically at what i think is the religious people adult age, there were only a few humans left and i was one of them?
no subject
You're resisting him, then. I can understand the appeal, of course. But...
Why?
no subject
i died doing it and that should be enough!
i guess this is all kind of tmi seeing as we basically just met but i only want to be a normal person with a job. if dirk actually has some stuff for me to do that is relevant to saving our universe, he can tell me about that, but i'm not going to do a bunch of pokemon master adventure stuff just because i am also a god.
no subject
Yet... I can’t help but think that he has some purpose behind that urging. Might you know what it is?
no subject
but i think the basic idea is that i am the only other person here other than dirk who is maybe "Relevant" with a capital r. or maybe i'm more True? fuck.
a friend explained all this to me once but it has been possibly literally an eternity since then so i'm kind of rusty. but i think i hold relevance to the canon of the world i come from even dead, somehow? or dirk thinks i do, i mean. i don't think he has any proof because he'd probably shove it in my face if he did but he wants me to be a hero here to sort of maintain my hero/main character status and through that, my overall Relevance.
there's something about essentiality as well????????
i am not an expert on this stuff. dirk and my friend both went "ultimate", which gave them all this knowledge and they were already really smart so they understand what's going on. i'm just a dude who played a game and got superpowers, really.
ok, i know what you're about to say. "If you're not an expert, how can you possibly know doing what Dirk says wouldn't help?" i don't, but he doesn't either. if he finds something to convince me that i am somehow going to be relevant to canon again as myself and not a dead body, i'll listen to him. but he hasn't found that yet.